"Everything will be okay in the end... if it's not okay, it's not the end."

I really hope that this is the case.. Lately (the past 5 years of my life), I have been filled with growing doubts that I have what it takes to achieve and accomplish what should already be achieved and accomplished by now. In an era where youth eagerly await the privilege to drive, starting the process around the age of sixteen, I still do not have my license. At an age where most of my peers have successfully finished their grueling university terms, some content with an undergraduate degree, while others have persevered in graduate studies, I am still trapped at the halfway mark.

Why is it that I do not even have the courage to acknowledge my situation? to accept and attempt to improve past failures?

I constantly tell myself that life is about making mistakes.. about enjoying the journey as opposed to racing to the end.. that I can stand and be proud of myself as long as I do not do anything that I will be ashamed or embarrassed about.. but.. I'm finding it really tough right now. Now, I agree with others when they ridicule and kick me down.. I'm losing sight of the person that I could be proud of.. that girl who loved life and tried to live it to the fullest.

Will it all really be okay..? Will things fall into place someday..?

I'm not sure how much more I can handle. I want to believe in myself and fight to the end but I've lost all my strength. Am I really this weak?

 Recently, I was wandering around the city and I realized that my little trek perfectly paralleled the path my life has been taking so far. I started out within reach of a certain destination but could not manage to get there, going around in circles and ending up way off-track instead.

 I am back snooping around this community again. I am overseas and experiencing many things so it would be good to keep a blog. The main thing that I have to say (the thought that just does not leave me) is how HOT and HUMID it is right now  o.O 

So I finally gave in and got an LJ...
I had refrained because I am not very good at keeping up with these sort of things but it became so troublesome to prove that I was not a robot each time I wanted to snag something.. that and there are music communities that I want to show my appreciation to - cpop among others ^^
I am in the middle of writing a paper and hence the 'stressed' mood... the best time for new music though!
I really do have to finish this paper though so here ends my first adventure with LJ!